


Who Wants to Live Forever?

by TakeItEezy



Series: Addicted to You [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Angst, Aziraphale Whump (Good Omens), Aziraphale’s parents are awful, Child Abuse, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Graphic Description, Homophobia, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Hurt Crowley, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, I’m mean to Aziraphale, M/M, Mean, Murder, No Smut, Physical Abuse, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley, Religion, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21612130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakeItEezy/pseuds/TakeItEezy
Summary: One call turns Aziraphale’s rather pleasant year sour in about a minute. His entire world turned upside down when he is thrown back into his past.What will they say about him now?(Aziraphale’s past)
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Addicted to You [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1529627
Comments: 28
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Abuse

Crowley stormed over to the desk in the middle of the store where Aziraphale was sitting, and laid down on his back onto the desk.  
“Aziraphaaaale.” He grumbled.  
“Yes, dear?” Solomon fixed his glasses and put down the book he was reading.  
“Why do you even have to open the store?!” He looked up at Aziraphale. “You don’t sell anything. You don’t WANT to sell anything. Just... take the rest of the day off. I mean, what do you even mean when you say ‘bookshop’, no one ever shops here.”  
Aziraphale sighed. “I don’t know...”  
The phone began to ring. Aziraphale let it ring twice, then answered. “A.Z Fell Books, this is Solomon speaking. How may I-“ Aziraphale froze. “I...” he spun around and sat with his back to Crowley. “I... I understand. I’ll be there.”  
Instead of hanging up, Aziraphale just dropped the phone onto the ground.  
“Azi, what-“ Crowley tried to put his hand on his shoulder, but Solomon, jumped up, quickly turned around and hung up the phone, then ran up the steps. “‘Ziraphale!” Crowley ran after him, confused, and found him in his room, pale and shaking. “What the fuck was that?”  
“I... I can’t...”  
“Who was that?” He said in a softer, gentler voice.  
“My... my mother.”  
Crowley blinked in confusion. “Wait... you told me your parents were dead.”  
“They are- were- dead to me.” Aziraphale looked like he was about to start crying. “Mother said that if I wanted money, any money, then I have to go to see them.”  
Crowley felt himself start to get angry, but pushed it away. “You have your own money. You still have-“  
“My money goes into their account.” Aziraphale hung his head. He looked so defeated, so scared.  
“What?!”  
“It’s... I can’t. I can’t do this.” He started to cry. Crowley got up quickly and pulled him into a tight embrace. This wasn’t really his forte, the whole family thing since he had gotten kicked out when he was young, so he just stayed silent. For a while, they stood in the middle of the bedroom as Aziraphale cried into Crowley’s shoulder.  
‘What happened?’ Crowley thought quietly to himself. ‘What did they do to you, angel?’  
—  
Aziraphale and Crowley sat across from each other at the table silently. After a while, Crowley couldn’t take the silence.  
“What the fuck, angel?” He said quietly.  
“I’m sorry, my dear boy, I know I should have told you before but... it’s not a very pleasant-“  
“Aziraphale, stop.” Crowley’s fists tightened. “You can’t keep lying to me. Lying really isn’t your forte.”  
“You can’t expect me to-“  
“To what?” Crowley tried to prevent himself from yelling. “Tell me what’s really wrong?”  
“I... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Aziraphale said quietly.  
“All I want from you is the truth.” Crowley sighed and unclenched his fists.  
“Okay. Okay.” Aziraphale, obviously worn out, closed his eyes. “I’ll tell you what you want to know.”  
—  
18 years ago (age 10)  
“Mother?” Solomon stood in the kitchen as his mother was cooking. “May I speak to you about something?”  
“What is it, Solomon,” she rolled her eyes, “you know how busy mother is, spit it out.”  
“I don’t feel well.” He put his hands behind his back and stood up straight when his mother turned around.  
“You don’t?” She cocked her eyebrow. “Or are you lying?”  
“I am not lying. I have a fever.”  
His mother walked over to him, put her hand on his head, then pursed her lips.  
“Do you have proof?” She asked, crossing her arms. He nodded and took out the thermometer which read 38 degrees. “That’s hardly a fever, Sol. You should be able to go to school, even with that temperature. Just remember, if you tell anyone, I will pick you up, but when you get home, your father will not be pleased.”  
Solomon nodded, backing out of the kitchen, unable to meet his mothers eye.  
“Thank you, mother.” He said before turning tail and sprinting across the house. His bedroom was up a flight of stairs, but he made it up in record timing.  
As soon as he got to his room, he closed the door, then leaned his back against it and slid down until he was a tight ball. Tears began to form in his eyes. His head was hurting so badly that he thought it would explode, but his father was the one who kept the pills, and if his father saw him crying... well, he wouldn’t be happy. So Aziraphale sobbed silently, praying to God for the headache to dissipate so when it was dinner time, he didn’t appear disoriented or sick.  
His prayers went unanswered.  
He was called to dinner a few minutes later.  
His father was not pleased as he came to the table with red eyes from crying.  
It was going to be a bad night.  
—  
“My family was... is... rather unique.” Aziraphale started, choosing his words carefully. “They are very interesting people who have... problems, just like any others.”  
“But they’re different?” Crowley asked, and Aziraphale nodded.  
“Yes, exactly.” Sol looked up at Crowley, and he knew in that moment that he might have pushed him a little too hard too fast. “Indeed...”  
“Huh... well, we don’t need to talk about it. However...” Crowley got up and sashayed over to Aziraphale and took his hand, dragging him to his feet and pulling him toward the bedroom, “the bed is rather cold. I think we should warm it up.”  
“Oh?” Aziraphale turned bright red, but Crowley just laughed. “I-I don’t-“  
“We could cuddle, you know. Orrrrr we can-“  
“Not now!” Sol snapped and dug his heels into the ground, forcing Crowley to stop with him. “I’m sorry, my dear boy,” he pulled his hand away from his partners grasp, “but I can’t sleep now. Especially not with you.”  
Crowley felt a little bit offended.  
“Oh, oh no, not in that way!” Aziraphale clarified. “I just... need to gather myself. I’ll be with you in a moment.”  
Crowley nodded, not knowing what to say other than “‘kay.”  
As soon as Crowley left, Aziraphale wrapped his arms tightly around himself and plopped back down into his chair. Sometimes, he could forget that they existed and what they did, but the memories and feelings would always come back, sometimes stronger than before.  
He felt tears pricking the edges of his eyes. Suddenly, he could almost hear his fathers voice.  
“Are you really so weak that you have to revert to sniffling like a baby? Pathetic.”  
Sol shook his head and wiped away his tears before getting up, going over to the sofa, and picking out his favorite book.  
Aziraphale didn’t go to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I’m writing this in the future because my dumb ass deleted these notes! Anywhoo...  
> Love you all!  
> Kudos and comment fuel my creative writing brain gears, so if you’re liking it, please kudos it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: CHILD ABUSE

Everything had been going well. Everything had been going according to plan. All of the pieces were falling into place. Aziraphale had a boyfriend who he loved very much. He had a nice old bookshop with an apartment above. He was even planning on getting a pet at some point (it would scare off customers who were allergic, and Crowley had been begging him for one for some time).   
But there was always something that destroyed his happiness. Something that ruined everything.   
When Crowley sleepily walked out of the bedroom, Aziraphale jumped in surprised.   
“Oh, uh, hello, Crowley!” He faked a smile and set down the book. “Sorry, I didn’t know how early it was.”  
“You never-“ Crowley yawned, “never came into bed.”  
“I’m- I’m very sorry, my dear boy.” Aziraphale stammered, looking up at him.   
“I’m gonna make breakfast.” Crowley went into the kitchen and started working on making eggs.   
“So...” he tried to sound nonchalant, “when are we do this, you know, parent thing?”  
Aziraphale went completely pale, then looked at the ground.   
“I... don’t know.” He paused for a moment. “I don’t know if you should come.” Crowley hummed.   
“Not quite okay with all of the ‘gay’ stuff, I’m guessing?”  
Aziraphale hummed in agreement. “They’re quite old-fashioned. In fact, they still use a record player.”  
Crowley barked out a laugh.   
“Now, about the parent thing...” Aziraphale cleared his throat, “I’ll have to go today. In fact...” he got up from the couch and straightened his bow tie and shirt, “I’d rather get it done sooner rather than later.”   
“It’s your call, angel.” Crowley said as he poured the eggs onto his plate, leaving about half of the eggs in the pan. “Buuuut, do you really want to miss out on my egg-making ability?”   
A slight smile graced Aziraphale’s lips, this time a real one, not a fake one.   
“I guess, if you put it that way...” Solomon walked over to his chair and sat down. Crowley’s smile widened and he put the plate down in front of his partner. However, when the plate landed in front of him, instead of immediately eating it, he began whispering something quietly, then crossed himself before finally digging in.   
“What was that?” Crowley asked, surprised.   
“Oh, just... something.” Aziraphale said, waving his hand in the air. “I’d better get used to it again. After all, I will be living with them for a while.”  
“What?!”  
—  
“What did I tell you?!”   
SMACK!   
Solomon was flung to the side as his father smacked him across the face.   
“I’ve told you time and time again, the Lord’s Prayer is necessary to recite before eating.”  
“But father, it was...” Solomon tried to hold in his tears as his father stood over him, but paused as he raised his hand as if to hit him again.  
“I will hear no excuses from you, boy.” His father spat before grabbing him by the arm and dragging him down the stairs.   
“No, please father!” He pleaded, heart racing.   
“You’ll stay in the cellar until tomorrow morning.”   
“No! Please, father,” he started to cry and struggle, “I’ll do better, I swear! I won’t forget!”   
“You little brat!” His father threw Solomon down in front of him and began taking off his belt. “You’ll learn not to disobey me and not to fight me when I’m punishing you.”  
“I’m sorry, father! I’m sorry! Please don’t-“  
“Turn around.”   
Solomon did as he was told and clenched his fist, waiting for the pain.   
WHOOSH.   
Sol bit his cheek to hold in the cry of pain.   
It would be over soon.   
He just had to wait it out.   
—  
“Ah, did I forget to mention that I was going to stay there?” Aziraphale chuckled nervously.  
“Uh, yeah!” Crowley raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms.   
“Well, I-“  
“How long?” Crowley interrupted in a dark tone of voice.   
“About a week. Or two.” Aziraphale cleared his throat. “Or three.”  
“Or four. Or five? C’mon, Aziraphale, don’t be stupid. You don’t know.”  
“I... I guess you could say that.”   
“Besides the money, what power do they have over you?”  
“Oh, they’ve got quite a bit of power over me.”  
“Don’t be an idiot!” Crowley growled and Aziraphale took a step back. “They have nothing over you. No power! Nothing! They can’t control you, Aziraphale. You’re not their puppet.”  
“You don’t understand-“   
“Oh, you bet I don’t understand! Explain it to me, would you?”   
Aziraphale started to shake. “Crowley, please stop. You’re scaring me.”  
“I can’t see why you can’t stand up to them and tell them no!”  
“Crowley, it’s not that simple, please, just calm down.”  
“Calm down?!” Crowley walked towards him. “You’re telling me to calm down? You ‘forgot’ mention that you would be gone for weeks and you want me to be okay with it?”  
“I’m... I’m sorry!” Aziraphale felt like he was a child again. “Please- please stop yelling at me.”   
“I...” Crowley stepped back. He looked down in shock, then put his face in his hands. Before Solomon had a chance to apologize once more, Crowley groaned. “I’m sorry, Aziraphale. I really am.” He looked at Sol in shame, then turned and walked towards the stairs. “I’m going for a walk, angel. I’ll be back. Love you.”  
After Aziraphale heard the bell from the door ring, he bolted into the bathroom and vomited.   
For the first time since the hospital, Aziraphale felt both scared and alone.   
THAT familiar hodgepodge of emotion had always been a dangerous combination for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry for taking forever to continue this story. Once again, finals week is 2 weeks away so I’m... whoo.   
> Anyway, yeah sorry for being so mean to Azi. But, a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do to get the ideas into a story.   
> Please leave likes and/or comments! They fuel my desire to write!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Scars and mentions of ab*se

As soon as Crowley got back to the bookshop, it was obvious that the store hadn’t been opened that day.  
“‘Ziraphale?” He called up the stairs. “You there?”  
There was no response. A pit formed in his stomach. It got even bigger when Nathan ran into the bookshop and up the stairs without even acknowledging him.  
Crowley sprinted up the stairs after him. Nathan ran into the bathroom and after a moment, Crowley heard someone vomiting in the bathroom. Slowly, he walked over to find a scene that looked as if it had come from his nightmares.  
First, there was the blood. It was all over the bathroom floor, and Crowley could see some of the bandages on Aziraphale’s arm. Then, he noticed the empty pill bottle.  
“That’s right, get it all out.” Nathan said soothingly. How many pills had been in there? He couldn’t remember.  
Suddenly, Nathan looked up at Crowley and glared.  
“I think you should go.” He said in a slightly monotonous voice.  
“Like hell I’m leaving-“  
“Leave or I’ll make you leave, you piece of shit.” Nathan growled, standing up. Aziraphale lifted his head up and saw Crowley, then looked back at Nathan.  
“My dear boy, there is no need for that!” Aziraphale said, his words slurred. How many pills had he taken??  
“He’s my partner!” Crowley said, walking into the bathroom and kneeling next to Aziraphale.  
“GET. OUT!” Nathan yelled, then pushed Crowley out of the bathroom and closed the door on his face.  
Crowley pounded on the door, struggling not to cry as he heard Aziraphale trying to convince Nathan to calm down before getting violently sick again.  
“Open the door!” Cried Crowley, becoming more and more desperate. “Please!”  
The door flung open and Nathan shoved him farther away from the room. As Crowley stumbled, he saw how truly dangerous Nathan could be. His anger... he looked... different. And that different look terrified Crowley. He didn’t even see Nathan’s fist until it hit him in the face. The force knocked him to the ground, and Nathan straddled him and drew his fist back again.  
Before Crowley could say anything, Nathan was thrown off of him. Aziraphale appeared, breathing hard, face as pale as a ghost.  
“Nathan, stop it!” He said, stepping between them. “Breathe and calm. Down.”  
Nathan took a step back and closed his eyes. As soon as he did so, Aziraphale began to sway before he crumpled to the ground as he passed out.  
“Nathan, I need your help.” Crowley said as he got up.  
“Yeah?” Nathan said through clenched teeth, opening his eyes. “Treat ‘Zira with the love that he deserves, and maybe I’ll consider it.” He picked up Aziraphale and carried him to his bed, taking off his shoes, refusing to look at Crowley.  
“I know I fucked up.” Crowley said. “But I love him and he deserves much better than me, but I’m trying.”  
Nathan turned towards Crowley, glaring at him. “Fine.”  
“Tell me what Aziraphale’s parents were like.”  
“You don’t want to know.” Nathan shook his head.  
“I need to.”  
“Wait, did they call?”  
“Uh...”  
“They did, didn’t they? Oh, fuck this is bad.” Nathan’s glare turned into shock. “You can’t let him do that-“  
“They’re stealing his money,” Crowley clenched his fist in anger, “and the only way for him to get back the money he needs, even for food, they said he had to go back.”  
“You can’t let him go. Have you see Aziraphale’s back?”  
Crowley looked at Nathan, confused.  
“No, he likes his privacy when he changes, and when...” Crowley cleared his throat in embarrassment, stopping himself before he could say something that could potentially reveal more than he was willing to share. Who would believe him anyway if he said that they’d never gotten... intimate.  
“Yeah, well, if you want to know what happened, then you need to ask bluntly. It’s the best way to get to him.” Crowley began to get a little bit jealous. If it was such a big secret, why would Aziraphale show it to someone else, and not to him?  
“I know that!” He rolled his eyes. As Aziraphale began to stir, both boys ran to his side.  
“‘Zira. Hey.” Nathan took his hand, and Crowley glared, fighting back a snarl.  
“Nathan, Crowley, you two... you two better... better not be fighting again.” When Aziraphale saw the glare aimed at Nathan, he took Crowley’s hand and kissed it gently. Crowley blushed bright red and rolled his eyes.  
“Cheesy bastard.”  
“And you love me all the more for it.” Aziraphale smiled. Crowley smiled, but his expression turned dark as soon as Nathan cleared his throat.  
“Aziraphale, I know this is strange,” Crowley said slowly, “but I need you to be honest with me. What did they do to you?”  
Aziraphale looked away from him. “I-I don’t think-“  
“Show him, ‘Zira.” Nathan said gently. “He’s going to find out eventually.”  
Aziraphale looked down in shame, then hesitantly took off his shirt, back towards Crowley. As soon as his shirt was off, Crowley stood up in shock.  
“Son of a bitch!” He growled and fought the urge to punch the wall by beginning to pace. His back was crisscrossed with scars, one on top of another on top of another. Suddenly, Crowley spun around and walked over to Nathan. “You knew about this,” he growled, “why didn’t you do something?!”  
“Why didn’t I DO something? I-“  
“Crowley, please calm down, my love. I didn’t let him.”  
“You didn’t let him...” Crowley said, realizing what that meant, “so there’s no way I could convince you to report them for... for...”  
“There’s nothing TO report, my dear boy,” with some difficulty and help from the two others in the room, the drugged and bloodied man put his shirt back on, “they haven’t done anything in years.”  
“There must be something!” He insisted. “You have the number of officer Pulsifer. Tell him something. Tell him that-that your parents kicked their dog, or-or that they had drugs in their place, something like that. I can get people to tell the courts that-“  
“No! Absolutely not!”  
“Plus,” Nathan chimed in, “half of the cops in this city will side with his parents. They’ve got a bit more than a shoe in to the legal system. They get some... extra compensation if they do what they’re told from daddy Abraham Aziraphale.”  
“Abraham?” Crowley raised his eyebrows. “Fits him. Man almost kills his son in the Bible. Sound a bit familiar?”  
Nathan let out a harsh laugh. “Never thought about it that way.”  
“It wasn’t ALL bad.” Aziraphale moved so that his back was up against the headboard, still pale and shaking. “In fact, they were mostly nice people.”  
Crowley snorted. “And I’m the Queen of Sheba.”  
—  
“Solomon! Dinner!”  
Solomon came down the stairs looking exhausted. His mother looked at him with worry. “Are you okay, darling?”  
“Yes, mother!” He shot her a quick smile as he stood up straight.  
“You look so tired! Please, sit down.” His mother gestured to the table, and he took a seat at his usual spot, staring down at the food hungrily, but knowing not to eat before everyone was sat down and grace had been said. His mother sat next to him.  
“If there’s ever anything upsetting you, just let me know, love. Your father and I can make your problems disappear, just like that magic act we saw the other night!” Sol’s mother smiled and held the handle of her fork like a makeshift magic wand. She faked doing an entire sketch when Solomon’s father walked into the room. They both turned to him with pale faces until they saw his smile. Sarah, Solomon’s mother, smiled back, getting up to greet him, giving him a small peck on the cheek.  
“You look so cheery today!” She said with a big smile.  
“Every meeting went the right way!” He said, clapping, a sound which made Sol jump in his seat. His parents didn’t see it. “I have a beautiful wife and a wonderful child.” He gestured to the both of them. “What more could I ask for?”  
—  
A few days passed, and things had began to finally calm down. Why must it always be that when good things happen, they only last for so long?  
Aziraphale looked at his belongings in his small suitcase. Everything that represented his freedom he had left in his room and the bookshop. He needed to remember where he was when he was home.  
Instead of waking Crowley, who had slept very soundly on the other side of the bed, he wrote a note and left it on Crowley’s side table. He grabbed his suitcase, gave the room one last look over, then went downstairs and called a cab.  
For the next few weeks, Solomon Aziraphale would be in dangerous territory, and he hoped that his blood wasn’t already in the water.  
For the first time in a long time, Aziraphale prayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no see!  
> Sorry folks, but finals week is finally upon us I have a shiiiit ton of homework to do for Friday, pretty stressful, but I just needed to get this out for you guys!  
> Just an FYI, yes, this shit happens. This is representative of a cycle of abuse.  
> Leave kudos if you’d like! If you wanna see more of this, let me know in the comments! I try to respond to the comments I can, so you have a direct line of communication opened up with me through the comments!!  
> Love all of you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: abuse, violence

It was rather late in the day when Crowley finally woke up to an empty bed. He moaned in annoyance and neediness.  
“Aziraphaaaaale!” He called out, waiting for his partners cheery response. There was no response.  
Crowley opened his eyes, which took more effort than it probably should have, and looked around. There was a small note on the bedside table, and he reached out, snatching it up and rubbing his eyes, trying to wipe the blurriness away. “Mmmrmph...”  
“Hello, dearest,

As you know, my parents have asked for me to stay at their house and, despite both of our wishes, I must go. I promise that I will be back as soon as possible. 

I love you and always will,  
Azi”

“Oh, fuck me!” Crowley growled, instantly snapping out of his sleepiness. He practically fell out of bed as he clambered to put his clothes on. “Aziraphale, you fucking selfless bastard.”  
As soon as he was dressed, he instantly grabbed his phone and ran down to the shop to get Aziraphale’s address book to look for his parents number. He always used his address book, despite also putting in contacts on his phone.  
“Just in case I lose my phone and need another one.” He would explain.  
He flipped through the book, scanning and searching every page.  
“No.” He said to himself as he flipped through the pages. “No. Definitely not. Nope. Fuck!” He flipped to the last page. No luck.  
“Fucking hell, angel, why do you have to be so damn thoughtful?” He muttered under his breath.  
—  
Azirpahale, or Solomon, (he’d have to get used to that name pretty damn quickly,) rang the doorbell at the old Aziraphale house where his parents had been staying for a little while now. A few minutes later, the door opened revealing a well dressed Mrs. Aziraphale, his mother.  
“Hello, mother.”  
“Solomon!” To his surprise, his mother grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. “It is so good to see you again!”  
“It’s good to see you too, mother!” He laughed nervously.  
Suddenly a booming voice came from behind his mother up the staircase. It was his father.  
“Solomon! It’s nice to see you again.” He slowly walked down the steps as if he was afraid of falling down and paused when he reached the floor before walking over to his son. “How have you been since we last saw you?What was it... five years ago?”  
“I’ve been alright!” He smiled at his father, hiding his anxiety as well as he could. “I’ve kept the bookshop clean and dusted, everything neat and tidy as you have requested.” That was a lie, but of course he would never tell them the truth. He couldn’t. They’d be so ashamed of him.  
“Very well done, my boy!” His father clapped him on the shoulder and smiled, an expression that looked like it was painful and didn’t quite fit on his face. “Now, your mother and I have been very disappointed in your lack of visits.”  
“I am very sorry, but I have been in the hospital for-“  
“Yes, we know.” His mother cut him off. “For emotional issues. We believed that that was unnecessary.” A cold look had settled in her expression. Solomon lowered his eyes to the ground in shame.  
“We can talk about this over dinner.” His father said, then spun around and waved his hand nonchalantly. “You may sleep in any of our guest bedrooms.”  
“It’d be rude not to put you up for the few nights that you’re here.” His mother said, clasping her hands in front of her.  
Solomon held back a sigh of relief. He didn’t have to stay for the full week. “Of course, mother!”  
‘I’ll be home soon, my love.’ He thought, trying to send his thoughts to his boyfriend. While he knew it was unrealistic, it brought him some comfort.  
A thought suddenly occurred to him.  
‘Please don’t try to find me, I’m in enough trouble as is. Please, God,’ he prayed for the second time that day, ‘please don’t let him find me.’  
—  
Nathan sat alone in his apartment, staring blankly at the wall. His hair was a mess, he was just wearing pajama pants, and he felt like someone had punched him straight in the face.  
To be fair, someone had indeed punched him in the face the day prior.  
He was walking down the street going to the store to get some groceries when he saw a man having an argument with a lady who was obviously his girlfriend. As Nathan got closer, he began to gage the situation a little better than before. What he saw was something that he certainly did not like.  
The woman looked nervous, borderline scared as he screamed obscenities in her face.  
“YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU FUCKING IDIOTIC BITCH!” The man then slapped her in the face and she started sobbing. This was unacceptable, and Nathan couldn’t help but step in.  
“Hey, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He yelled at the guy over a small crowd of people. The man turned around and Nathan nodded, walking through the crowd over to him. “Yeah, you, dipshit!”  
“Back off, this is between me and her, not you.” He snarled, but Nathan just stepped closer.  
“Step away from her, or I’ll fucking report your ass to the police for assault.”  
“You’ve got no proof.”  
Nathan took out his phone. “Got it all on video, actually.” He lied, hoping the other man wouldn’t catch his bluff.  
“You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that?” The man said, trying to act tough, stepping towards him, getting in his face. Nathan shoved him away from both him and the girl.  
“Leave her the fuck alone.”  
“You fucking piece of shit!” The man drew back his fist and punched him in the face as hard as he could, which was like a tap compared to what Nathan was used to. The man took another swing at him, and as he did, Nathan caught his wrist. He then looked at the man and smiled.  
“You see, this is the nice part.” He put his wrist in a joint lock and gripped harder. “This, my friend, is self defense.”  
Nathan punched the man as hard a he could, and the man was thrown onto the ground, his head hitting the pavement. As the man struggled to get back up, he kicked him in the ribs, feeling a crack. As he hacked and coughed, Nathan turned to the girl. She was staring at the man on the ground in shock.  
“Are you okay?” He asked gently. She had been shaken up enough today, he didn’t want to stress her out more than she already had been. She was physically shaking, pale, and obviously too thin.  
“Y-yeah.” She stuttered. “I... I think I just... want to go home. But he-he knows where I live.”  
“I think you might wanna move away soon.” Nathan said, looking at the bruise the man had just given to her as it already began to appear. “Maybe you should move into a hotel, at least for the night.”  
“Yeah... good idea.” She said. “Could you... maybe walk me home?”  
After Nathan walked her home, he went back to his apartment before remembering that he had gone out to get groceries.  
So now, Nathan sat on his bed, head in his hands. He heard Ezra, his girlfriend, humming in the kitchen, and was about to get up to wish her a good morning when his phone started ringing. He saw Crowley’s name pop up, and he immediately took the call. His worry for Aziraphale overruled over his anger.  
“What happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap I am SO sorry I haven’t posted in forever. I injured my foot really badly, and after finals I had to deal with that, so I’ve been busy as hell. Next update will hopefully happen next week!  
> Thanks for reading!!  
> If you like what you see, give me some kudos! If you REALLY like it, feel free to comment!! I try to respond to comments as much as I can!  
> Love you all!!


	5. Chapter 5

The bookshop was quiet. It had been quiet for the entire day. In fact, not a single person had even dared to even look inside. It was delightful, and gave Aziraphale time to read and relax.  
Just as he started to get hungry, the bell rang signaling the open door and a voice rang out.   
“Hey, angel! Ready for lunch?”   
Aziraphale smiled and looked up at his partner.   
“I was just thinking about-“  
“Sushi?” Crowley grinned and flipped the sign on the door to ‘Closed’, his sunglasses covering his eyes. “Because I was thinking the same thing.”   
Aziraphale took off his own glasses and placed them on the desk.   
“I’m guessing you have a good reason for closing my shop early?” He grabbed his coat and slid it on as he walked out they door.   
“Oh, I have a very good reason.”   
Aziraphale was about to ask what that reason was when Crowley cut him off.   
“And don’t ask, I won’t tell you.”  
Aziraphale pouted.   
“Rude.” He huffed, and Crowley laughed.   
“You’ll never see it coming. Not in a million years.”   
“Oh really?”  
“Yeah.”   
They continued their light banter up until they got to the car.   
“So, the normal place?” Aziraphale asked, but to his surprise, Crowley shook his head.   
“Found somewhere way better.” He stepped on the gas and the car jerked to life. They sped off in one direction, then, due to Crowley’s directional confusion, ended up speeding the back the way they came.   
“Look, I really thought-“  
“Crowley, that was a red light!” Aziraphale shouted, grabbing his arm in shock.   
“No cameras, no one coming in either direction. Anyway, as I was saying, I really-“  
“There was a pedestrian right about to step into the cross-“  
“-thought it was in that direction.” He swerved into a parallel parking spot and managed to somehow not slam into the other cars. “What? Have I suddenly grown three heads?”   
“Crowley, you need to stop driving like a maniac.”  
“Why‘s that? Can’t take the excitement?” He slid his sunglasses down his nose. “If not, I’ll keep that in mind for tonight.”  
Aziraphale blushed bright red and smacked Crowley’s arm with the back of his hand. Crowley opened his mouth to say something, but Aziraphale knew him enough to stop him.   
“Don’t!”   
“Keeping all of the dirty talk for later, eh?” Crowley grinned as Aziraphale rolled his eyes and got out of the car.   
The building itself was not extraordinary in the least, and nor was the interior, but the menu was quite impressive. It had a wide variety of sushi, as well as soups and side dishes.   
“Anything on the menu catch your eye?” Aziraphale asked as he read the options, practically salivating at the thought of some of the delicious rolls.   
“Nothing except you.”  
“On the MENU, my dear boy.”  
“Are you on the menu tonight? Because if so-“  
“Crowley!”  
“I’d love to have a taste.”  
A young man who looked to be around 18 marched up to the table as Aziraphale tried to get himself together.   
“Hi, I’m Hugo, I’ll be taking care of you today. What can I get for you?”   
—  
“That was absolutely wonderful!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “I am positively stuffed!”   
“Well-“  
“If you say it, I’m breaking up with you.”   
Crowley pouted. “You’re no fun!”   
“Let’s see if you say that a little later, shall we?”   
“Oh, now you’re just being a tease!” Crowley rolled his eyes and smiled wide.   
“Anything else I can get for you, gentlemen?” The couple jumped at the interruption as Hugo appeared right next to them.   
“Uh, no thank you.” Aziraphale said quickly, praying he hadn’t heard their exchange. “Just the check.”  
Crowley waited until Hugo left to continue his conversation.   
“Would you like to go for a walk through the park with me?”   
“Of course, love! We ARE right next to St. James park, correct?”   
As they walked out of the restaurant and into the street, they chatted and bantered.  
It was the perfect weather for a stroll. The park was beautiful, as always. The grass was a luscious and healthy green, the leaves in the trees were just as gorgeous, and the flowers seemed to all be blooming perfectly. The ducks quacked happily as the two lovers tossed little bits of bread into the water. Aziraphale was able to focus on the conversation and tune out the rest of the world, making it feel like him and Crowley were the only two people on earth, and it was nice. Time seemed like it stood still until the sun started to go down.   
“I think we should head home, my dear boy.” Aziraphale said as the sky blossomed into a beautiful backdrop that looked like a work of art. “It’s getting rather late.”  
“I guess,” Crowley muttered. The two men turned around and walked back towards the car.   
They drove passed the bookshop, and there was a small thought in the back of Aziraphale’s mind which was saying that they had just missed the flat, but Crowley kept going. The city slowly melted into country, and finally, they arrived at a beautiful little cottage. As his partner parked the car, Aziraphale heard their dog, Horatio, barking at the door excitedly.   
“Alright, angel,” the engine turned off and Crowley turned towards Aziraphale, “time to go in.”  
As soon as they walked into the door, Crowley knelt down and greeted Horatio.   
“Hey boy!” He laughed, petting him as the dog jumped up playfully onto him and licked him in the face. When the excitement was over, Horatio greeted Aziraphale by licking his hand and sitting down in front of him. He petted him on the head, then headed straight into the library, quickly picking up his newly restored copy of “The Importance of Being Earnest,” and began to read. A few minutes later, Crowley came in with a steaming hot cup of cocoa in his angel wing mug. He cleared his throat as he set it down on the small table right next to him. Aziraphale looked up at him and smiled.   
“I have something to say.” Crowley looked nervous.   
“What’s wrong, my love?” Aziraphale asked, worried.   
“Nothing is wrong!” He said quickly. “Just the opposite, actually. We’ve been dating for a while now. It’s been nice, but I think it’s time for us to change our relationship.”   
“Oh?” Aziraphale’s heart sank.   
Suddenly, Crowley knelt down in front of him and took out a small box. Aziraphale looked at him in shock.   
“You don’t mean-“   
“Oh, I most definitely do mean! I mean, would you, Aziraphale-“

The sound of a doorbell caused Solomon to almost fall out of bed. His heart was pounding rapidly, and he pressed his head into the pillow in despair.   
A dream.   
It was all a goddamn dream.   
He was back in his childhood home in one of the guest bedrooms. It smelled of his parents detergent, a smell he found that he could no longer stand. Just as he was about to get up, he heard the front door open and a voice rang out.   
“Hello, Mrs. Aziraphale! I’ve heard so much about you! May I come in?”  
Solomon’s eyes widened. That voice. It didn’t belong here! How could he have found him so quickly?   
“The name’s Crowley. I’m a friend of your son’s. It’s very nice to meet you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!   
> I know, I’m SO mean for making that scene just a dream sequence. I just thought it would be nice to get a snapshot into Aziraphale’s mind and how he saw the world. I haven’t really gotten into that much, so I figured I’d do a chapter like this.  
> Guess who got themself a beta? This guy!! She’s ShesAKillerQueen98 on here and will be posting some other Good Omens stuff, so be on the lookout for her stuff. She’s a great writer and I promise you won’t be disappointed.  
> Thank you for reading up to this point and thank you so much for your patience! I’m still having a hard time with my injured foot and I’ve been having a hard time with motivation as well. I’m going to try and get some chapters out quicker since I have it mapped out now, so hopefully you’ll see more soon.  
> If you liked this chapter and want to see more, gimme some kudos or leave a comment! They are much appreciated   
> Thank you! Love you all!


	6. Chapter 6

Solomon Aziraphale quickly threw his clothes on and quietly ran down the stairs as his mother spoke to Crowley.  
“I’ll get the tea on, why don’t you take off those glasses and head into the library? I’m sure that’s the first place Solomon will go to when he wakes up.” She let out a shallow chuckle. “He’s such a bibliophile!”  
“Yes, ma’am.” He didn’t take off his glasses. As Aziraphale came into Crowley’s view, he started silently trying to shoo him away. He cocked an eyebrow up, causing Mrs. Aziraphale to spin around. Almost immediately, Solomon stood up straight and put his hands behind his back, smiling pleasantly at Crowley.  
“Crowley!” Solomon walked over to him and extended a hand. “How lovely it is to see you, my dear boy!”  
“And you!” A little bit of hurt flashed through Crowley’s eyes as he took his hand and gave him a firm handshake, a fake smile plastered on his lips.  
“Shall we?” Solomon gestured over in the direction of the library. Crowley nodded, and as they turned to the doorway, Solomon shot an angry look at his partner.  
As soon as the glass door closed, Solomon sat down on one of the chairs across from the sofa with its back towards the door. Suddenly, his demeanor changed from a stuffy, preppy one to one familiar, yet filled with rage.  
“What they hell are you doing here?!” He hissed, and Crowley recoiled in shock.  
“What am I doing here?! What the fuck are YOU doing here?” Crowley countered. “We told you not to come here!”  
“They’re my parents!” Solomon’s quiet tone did nothing to soothe the frustration in his voice.  
“They’re horrible people, and you shouldn’t have to deal-“  
“Here you go, my dears!” Mrs. Aziraphale opened the door slowly with a tray of tea and biscuits in her hands.  
“-that you gave me for that book was fantastic!” Crowley instantly switched from a low and frustrated tone to a light and cheery one.  
“Oh yes! That one is a rather popular one!” Solomon matched his tone and went with the diversion seamlessly. “It’s been on my reading list for a while. Haven’t gotten to it yet.”  
For a moment, there was a tense silence. Solomon’s mother then threw herself onto the other chair across from the sofa and crossed her legs.  
Oh fuck, thought Crowley, this is going to be one of the toughest and most complicated conversations he had had in a long time.  
“So, tell me,” Mrs. Aziraphale traced her finger along one of the flowery designs on the chair, “how did you two meet?”  
“We met at the h-“  
“Bookshop!” Solomon cut in, shooting Crowley a glance that said ‘shut it or you’ll get us both in trouble’. “He was looking for books on botany and one of our mutual friends pointed him in my direction.”  
How the hell did Solomon find out about his plant obsession?!  
“Oh, how lovely!” His mother said, clasping her hands together in her lap, shooting Crowley a strange glance. There was an awkward silence. The tension in the room was so intense that it could be cut with a knife. “What about botany interests you?”  
“Oh, I’m interested in growing my own food.” Crowley fidgeted. “One day, I’d like to live in the countryside. Have my own garden, that sort of thing.”  
The real reason he loved growing plants was that they never yelled back. He didn’t only want to grow his own food (although that does tend to spark conversations), he wanted to grow plants of all kinds. But she didn’t need to know all that, and Crowley decided that the less she know him, the better.  
“Sounds positively lovely!” Mrs. Aziraphale looked at him with a smile that sort of put Crowley off. He looked over at Solomon and reminded himself that all of this was for HIM, not for Crowley.  
There was yet another bout of tense silence. Solomon remained silent, something that Crowley was completely put off by. He was so used to his Aziraphale having so many interesting tidbits of information and little stories to tell him. Between them, there was never an awkward silence.  
“Solomon, darling, would you be a dear and grab me another cup? I seem to have forgotten one for myself.”  
Jesus Christ, she speaks like she’s a lady in the fifties, thought Crowley.  
“Of course, mother! I’d be happy to!” Solomon stood up and walked away, back as straight as a board the entire way. As soon as he was out of the room, Mrs. Aziraphale leaned forward and gave Crowley a smile.  
“So, are you seeing anyone?”  
“Uh...” Crowley suddenly felt like a trapped animal. A chill went down his spine and he felt himself starting to sweat. He really wasn’t a fan of being stuck in a room with people he had no intention of actually knowing, so he decided to play dumb. All he needed was time, and Solomon would be back any moment. “I’m sorry, what?”  
“Are you currently in a relationship?” She glided over to the sofa and sat next to Crowley, way too close for comfort. “Because if not, I could make your stay much more enjoyable.”  
Crowley shot up with a yelp as soon as she placed her hand on his knee, his glasses falling to the floor. He quickly snatched them up and threw them back on as fast as possible.  
He looked over at the door and saw Solomon walking over to the library, looking at him with shock and worry. As soon as he walked into the room, it turned into a pleasant smile. He put the mug down in front of his mother without questioning why she had moved.  
“So, I’ve just talked with Crowley, and he said that he would like to stay the night!” She poured herself tea and sipped. “Isn’t that wonderful?”  
“Mm. Yes, quite.” Solomon said, pouring himself some tea, obviously not listening.  
“Solomon...” the low tone that Mrs. Aziraphale said it in made even Crowley shrink back slightly.  
“I’m sorry, mother.” Solomon sat down and smiled. “Crowley staying over is wonderful news indeed. Shall I show him up to the guest room where he’ll be sleeping? The one next to mine?”  
“Of course, dear, go ahead! I’ll just be down here if you two need anything.”  
Solomon showed him where he was sleeping and, when they made sure no one was looking, they both went into the room. As soon as the door was closed, Aziraphale grabbed onto Crowley’s shirt and kissed him.  
“I missed you so much, Crowley, you have no idea.” He whispered. Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale and kissed his forehead.  
“Missed you too, angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Finally finished another chapter.  
> So, I discovered one thing during the break. When I am home (and am very uncomfortable), I am unable to write fanfiction. At school, I feel comfortable enough to be myself and ACTUALLY do it.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> Kudos and comments are always loved and appreciated (just like all of you!)  
> See you guys soon!  
> PS: check out my awesome beta’s work! She’s on here, username is ShesAKillerQueen98, she’s great, you should check her out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homosexual slur, sexual assault mention, hate towards mentally ill people

As soon as the clock struck 7 PM, Solomon walked carefully down the stairs with Crowley in tow. He had coached Crowley on how to please his parents and make them completely trust that they were just friends. Crowley was running through that checklist when the front door opened, revealing a man in a gray suit with gray hair, polished shoes, and a fancy shoulder bag. He looked irritated, almost angry, as if he could blow up at any second. Mrs. Aziraphale walked into the room and kissed the man on the cheek, wrapping her arm around him in a half hug. He grunted and shrugged her arm off of him as he placed his jacket on the coat rack. She looked slightly hurt, then brushed it off and gestured towards the two men who were trying to get passed them without being noticed.   
“Abe, we have a visitor!” She smiled as he looked up at her in surprise. As soon as his eyes fell on Crowley, his expression completely shifted. Instead of cold and hard, it turned into a welcoming, warm smile.   
“Hello! You must be a friend of Solomon’s!” He held out his hand. “I’m Abe Aziraphale, Sol’s father.”  
“Crowley.” Crowley answered back as he took the other mans hand. He was surprised at how strong Mr. Aziraphale’s grip was.   
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get your first name.” Mr. Aziraphale smiled unsurely. Crowley opened his mouth immediately, about to say something snarky before he felt a tap on his back.   
Oh, right.  
He was swimming with sharks. Any scent of blood in the water will cause a frenzy of unwanted actions to occur.   
Instead of his initial response, Crowley cleared his throat and looked up at Mr. Aziraphale, meeting his eyes.   
“Anthony.”  
“Well, Anthony, would you like to eat dinner with us?”  
“He’s staying with us tonight.” Said Mrs. Aziraphale quickly, looking at her husband for approval. “Isn’t that exciting?”   
“Hm.” He said, a response that was a lot less enthusiastic than she was expecting. She and shrunk away from him like a kicked puppy.   
‘Geez,’ Crowley thought, ‘I know I’m a drama queen, but I’ve got NOTHING on her.’  
As Mr. Aziraphale walked towards the dinning room, Solomon followed behind, head down, hands behind his back. Crowley wanted so badly to take him away from here, but instead, he had to follow like a little lamb going to the slaughter. He hated it.   
“So, Anthony,” Mr. Aziraphale said loudly as they all sat down at the table, “what do you do for a living?”   
Oh fuck, what was he supposed to say? He couldn’t say that he used to be a drug dealer.   
“I... between jobs.” Crowley choked out as food was placed in front of them. Mr. Aziraphale raised his eyebrows at him in disapproval.   
“So, you’re unemployed?”   
“How was your day at work, father?” Solomon asked, trying to change the subject. His father shot him a stern look, and he stiffened up, but held his gaze.   
“It was fine.” Mr. Aziraphale was the one who broke the eye contact, and Solomon glanced over to Crowley, who gave him the slightest hint of a smile, one that only he could catch. As Mr. Aziraphale went on about his day, Crowley was thinking about what he would do once he got his Aziraphale out of this damned wretched house. Suddenly, a change of tone caught his attention.   
“... and my friend, Dr. Gabriel was arrested before you were discharged. You don’t happen to know anything about that, do you, Sol?”   
Dr. Gabriel?   
The one who abused Solomon in the hospital?  
How did his father know him?!   
“N-no, father.” Sol looked extremely uncomfortable, as if he wanted to bolt from the table at that very moment.   
“I can’t believe he worked at that place anyway.” His father shook his head. “That place is full of lunatics, overly sensitive people,” Mr. Aziraphale glanced at Solomon whose cheeks had turned pink, “and the scum of society. No one should have to work with them.”  
Crowley tried to breathe calmly, but under the surface he was seething.   
“You know who should really be in that asylum wing?”   
“Hm?” Mrs. Aziraphale hummed.   
“Those... faggots.” Crowley almost threw up on the spot. “They’re the REAL lunatics, if you ask me. Disgusting-“  
“I’m really sorry Mr. and Mrs. Aziraphale, but I am simply exhausted.” Crowley pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. “I think I’m going to go up to have a lie down.”  
He walked slowly and calmly until he got to the stairs, which he ran up as quickly and as quietly as he could before throwing himself in bed and covering his head with a pillow.   
“Fuck, I hate it here.” He mumbled.   
Another set of foot steps climbed up the stairs and he heard the person stop right in front of the door before hesitantly knocking.   
“C’mon in, angel.” He said.   
“Now THAT’S a name I haven’t been called in quite some time.”   
Crowley whipped around and sat up to see Mrs. Aziraphale in the doorway, giving him that same smile from before.   
There was going to be trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y’all!   
> I’m so sorry about the hella short chapter. Don’t worry, I’ve already got plans for the next one! Hopefully, that one will be done within this week, but if not, it WILL be uploaded at most in a little more than a week. School just started back up, but hopefully the work will inspire me to write more. For some reason, that’s a thing that happens.   
> I’m sorry about Mr. Aziraphale, but he will get his comeuppance, don’t worry about that.   
> I’m still debating on the ending, but my wonderful, beautiful beta ShesAKillerQueen98 is helping me work on that. What I DO know is that it’s going to be longer than I expected.   
> The next chapter, we will learn a little more about some screwed up stuff that is going on behind the scenes. I’m really evil to the characters, so I’m sorry, but you’ve read so far, so hopefully you’re enjoying this, despite the pain I’m causing them.   
> And Nathan is going to come back in at LEAST the epilogue.   
> Anyway, check out ShesAKillerQueen98’s fanfic that she’s writing! I’m helping her with her story as well. Her OC Kaera is pretty cool, so keep an eye out for her updates! (They’re more frequent than mine.)   
> Thank you all so much for reading!!  
> Kudos and/or comment if you’d like to see more!!  
> (Also, sorry for it being really short. I have some intense scenes that I need to clump together in the next chapter.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT (GRAPHIC), abuse, homelessness

“Hey, Mrs. Aziraphale!” Crowley laughed nervously. “I-I was confused-“  
“You thought I was him, didn’t you?” Mrs. Aziraphale stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. Crowley scrambled up off the bed, feeling vulnerable and trapped, heart pounding.   
“Th-thought you were wh-“  
“Sol.” She walked towards him and Crowley took a step back. “And let’s get rid of that “Mrs. Aziraphale” thing, shall we? You may call me Debra.”   
“Mrs. Aziraphale-“ Crowley started, looking at the door, fight or flight kicking in.  
“Debra.” She corrected.   
Crowley bolted towards the door, but Debra caught him by the arm and yanked him back into the room. She then proceeded to lock the door, staring at him hungrily.   
“If you want Solomon and your secret to stay as such...” Slowly, she walked over to the bed and patted the spot next to her. Crowley looked at her, aghast.   
“You’re joking.”   
Debra grinned. “Or you can play hard-to-get. That’s always fun!” She suddenly came at him, grabbed his wrists, and pinned him against the wall. He froze in shock, and Debra kissed him roughly, a kiss he did not reciprocate. He struggled to get away from her, but she was too strong. She wrenched him away from the wall and threw him down on the bed. Before he could sprint out of the door, Debra pushed him down and straddled him.   
“I know I can please you better than he can.” She said quietly as she kissed him again. She quickly took off his shirt before he realized what she was doing and bit his neck. Hard.   
“Mother?” Solomon’s voice sounded out from the doorway.   
Oh, fuck no. He begged for God to be generous enough to kill him on the spot.   
Debra rolled her eyes and got up. Crowley was frozen in place, unable to bring himself to say anything, even a cry for help.   
“Sol, you must knock when you come into a room.”  
“And you must stop trying to fuck my friends.” Solomon’s voice was cold and shook with an undertone of pure fury.   
“You mean your boyfriend?” She put her hands on her hips.   
“I mean my friend, mother.” Solomon sighed and crossed his arms. “Even if I was gay, he wouldn’t be my type.”  
Crowley’s heart sank.   
“I may have lead him on by being nice, but he’s not my boyfriend. He’s simply a friend.”  
Solomon’s blank stare tore at his heartstrings.   
Was he really just being lead on?   
He gulped, trying not to let tears form in his eyes.   
Of course he was just imagining the fact that Sol would be into him. He wasn’t smart. He didn’t get through university. He couldn’t be bothered to even pick up a book, and even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to read passed a few pages. Solomon was just going along with Crowley’s imaginary world because he was a nice person.   
“Oh.” Mrs. Aziraphale laughed. “You’ve done quite a good job of convincing him, because when I told him I’d tell your father-“  
“Mother, I need you to leave.” For a moment, Mrs. Aziraphale looked outraged, but Solomon held his ground. “Now, please.”  
After a sigh of annoyance, Mrs. Aziraphale stormed out of the room.   
Immediately, Sol was by Crowley’s side.   
“Are you alright, my dear? Did she hurt you?”   
“Nothing I can’t handle, Solomon.” Crowley said, the name feeling foreign as he said it out loud. A bit of hurt flashed through Sol’s eyes as he said that name, but it was quickly covered with rage as his eyes made their way down to the mark on his neck. Crowley quickly covered the mark with his hand and looked away. “I’ll be out of your hair soon, don’t worry.”  
Suddenly, understanding dawned on Sol as to why Crowley seemed incredibly aloof.   
“You... didn’t think that I meant what I said, did you?” Crowley looked down, and Sol shook his head. “Oh, Crowley, my love, that was a LIE!” Sol gently placed a hand on Crowley’s cheek gently, and Crowley leaned into the touch. “She would have said something that would get us into a whole lot of trouble with my father and... well, we don’t want that to happen.”  
Crowley’s eyes slowly made their way up to Solomon’s face.   
“Still not used to... all of this affection stuff, so I guess it was easy to believe what you said.”  
“Oh.” Solomon furrowed his eyebrows together. “If you don’t mind me asking, what do you mean by that?”  
Crowley sighed.   
“Well, I was raised to be better. Like you, with your intellect and love of books and...” he shrugged, “straight. One day, one of my... I guess I wouldn’t call him a friend, outed me in front of them. They told me to get out, so I did. Been on my own since. Except for Bee and their crew, but... well, you know about that.”   
“Yes, yes I do.” Solomon confirmed, then he took Crowley’s hands, relaxing his grip when he saw his partner tense up. “I’m so sorry, my love. I didn’t know.”  
“‘S alright, angel.” Crowley yawned, and as he did, Sol realized two things.   
The first was what an exhausting day it must have been for his partner. In the last day, Crowley had searched for him, located him, drove down to the countryside to meet him, met his parents (which was not pleasant in the least), and after dinner, he had been assaulted by his own partners mother.  
The second thing was that Crowley probably no longer felt safe in this house.   
“Well, I’m going to bed.” Solomon smiled at Crowley. “Would you like to join me.”  
“Fine by me.” Solomon didn’t miss the small look of relief that was on his face for less than a second, but neither of them spoke of it. Soon, they had both snuck into Sol’s bedroom so as to not disturb his parents. As soon as the door was closed, Crowley threw himself onto the bed.   
“Crowley, my dear,” Sol said softly, “you do realize I’m going to be sleeping in this bed too, right?”  
Crowley groaned and slowly moved himself to one side of the bed.   
“Thank you.” Sol laid himself gently on the bed, and as soon as his back hit the mattress, Crowley had moved to put his head on Sol’s chest and curled up tightly next to him.   
After a few minutes, both of them were asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!   
> This chapter was a hard one to write. The content, of course, is an extremely hard one to depict without being TOO graphic and too horrific to the point where people wouldn’t like it. It also was complicated because I didn’t know when to stop and where to start on certain aspects of it, but I think I did a good job on this one.  
> Thank you again to my amazing beta ShesAKillerQueen98 for corrections and for being generally awesome. I’m also beta-ing HER story, so go check that out!  
> Sorry this note is short, but it’s late and tomorrow is my homework day, so I need my rest   
> Thank you so much to all of you guys! I appreciate every single one of you. Comment and/or kudos if you want to see more!  
> See y’all later!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Murder implied

At 5 AM, Crowley snuck back into the guest bedroom. He tried to lay down and relax, but every time he finally calmed down, he would shoot up at any hint of a sound.  
‘Stop being stupid. It’s just the wind.’ He chided himself, but nevertheless, he continued to panic. Finally, he gave up and decided to try to read one of the dusty novels on the dark bookcase in his room. As soon as he pulled a book off the shelf, someone knocked at the door.  
Crowley froze.  
“Anthony? It’s Mr. Aziraphale. I need to talk to you.”  
Crowley’s heart practically stopped. He stood up, straightened his pajamas, then opened the door with a forced smile. As soon as the door was opened, Mr. Aziraphale walked straight passed Crowley without even a glance. Crowley closed the door, but when he turned around, he was standing right next to the bed.  
“Take a seat.” Mr. Aziraphale ordered and gestured to the bed. Crowley had to fight down the urge to run before slowly walking over with fake confidence, sitting down on the bed and looking up at him with a pleasant neutral expression.  
“What is it, sir?”  
“Yesterday, I noticed something about you.” Crowley’s stomach sank. “You left dinner very suddenly last night. So, I thought to myself,” Mr. Aziraphale started pacing, “what made you leave? Then, I started to notice something. The way you dress, the way you act...”  
“I’m... sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying, sir.” Crowley’s heart was beating a million miles per second while his brain screamed ‘fuck’ over and over again.  
“Well, the point I’m getting at,” Mr. Aziraphale stopped directly in front of him, “is that I’ve seen the way you look at my son.”  
‘FUCK!’  
“I know about you, Anthony Crowley. I looked you up in the hospital records.”  
“How-how the... how did you get those?” Crowley could hardly breathe.  
“I have my ways.” Mr. Aziraphale waved his hand. “And I didn’t like what I saw, Anthony. Not at all.” He leaned forward. “If you think I’ll let a drug addict befriend my son, let alone be... with him,” he spat out the phrase, “then you’re out of your mind. At least, more out of your mind than you already are.”  
It took all of Crowley’s willpower not to sprint out of the house that very moment.  
“What I want you to do is today, you are going to leave. You will be long gone by the time I get back. You will move out of Solomon’s book shop. Then,” Mr. Aziraphale stood back up, “you never talk to him again. Do you understand?”  
Crowley nodded.  
“Now I’ll be watching you closely, boy, and if I see you touch my son, I swear to you, I will kill you. That is not a threat. It’s a promise.”  
“Yes, sir.” Crowley said quietly, looking down at his feet.  
“Do not even look at Sol. And if you tell him about this, then you better watch your back, boy. Do I make myself clear?”  
“Yes, sir.” Crowley couldn’t hide his glare. This was the REAL Abraham Aziraphale, and now he could see the cruel man Mr. Aziraphale truly was. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”  
“Good.” Mr. Aziraphale stood up straight, then looked at his watch. “Whoa, look at the time! I have to be at work in about an hour.” He patted Crowley’s shoulder, then smiled at him. “Take care.”  
As soon as he left, Crowley put his head in his hands.  
“Fuck.” He quietly said out loud. The worst part about the whole encounter was that he found that he had become terrified of that man, and didn’t want- no, couldn’t stay in the house for longer than he had to.  
A few minutes later, he found himself standing outside of Solomon’s door, fully dressed, his knuckles an inch away from the door. For some reason, he couldn’t seem to get the urge to knock. After a few seconds, he just turned around, pressed his back against the door, and slid down until he hit the ground, his knees close to his chest. How the fuck was he going to tell his angel what had happened?  
Suddenly, the door opened and he stood up quickly.  
“Crowley! What the devil are you doing here?” Solomon said, looking surprised as he looked his partner up and down. “And why are you in your street clothes? Are you going somewhere?”  
“Hey, Sol.” Crowley shoved his hands into his pockets looking anywhere but at Solomon. “I... I think I should go.”  
“We both should go, my dear boy, but-“  
“You don’t understand.” Crowley cleared his throat, his eyes burning. “I think I need to leave both this house... and you.”  
There was silence.  
“What happened?” Solomon’s voice was deep. It sounded strange, like an emotion that he had never expressed before, at least not in front of Crowley.  
For a moment, he wanted to tell Sol-, screw it, he couldn’t call him that anymore. It was just so wrong. He wanted to tell Aziraphale everything, but the threats were still ringing in his ears. The main problem wasn’t that his own safety was being threatened. The problem was that he knew if his father found out anything about them, Aziraphale would be in trouble, and him being in trouble scared Crowley to death.  
“Crowley, what-“  
“Nothing happened. I just... reflected on us and-“  
“Please don’t do this to me, my love. Please-“  
“No, Aziraphale. I can’t do this anymore and-“  
“After everything we’ve been through, you-“  
“It’s not-“  
“Does it even matter-“  
“He’ll kill me, and-“ Oh, fuck. Crowley went silent, eyes wide.  
“What?” Aziraphale looked at Crowley in shock. “What did you say?”  
“Nothing, I just-“  
Aziraphale grabbed Crowley by the shirt and shoved him into his room before closing the door.  
“Did he threaten you?” Aziraphale looked him, rage practically radiating off of him. When there was no response other than Crowley biting his lip, the anger turned into rage.  
“I can’t believe he would take you away from me.” Aziraphale’s voice was shaking, and suddenly his arms were wrapped around Crowley, encircling him in a soft, calming hug. Crowley leaned into it and sighed.  
“Aziraphale, if he sees me here when he gets back...”  
“I won’t let him hurt you, my love.” Aziraphale said softly. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t afford to lose you.  
“But, angel,” Crowley pulled away from the hug and gently cupped his partners cheek, “what if he hurts you instead?”  
“You won’t have to worry about that.” Aziraphale smiled up at him and touched the hand, but Crowley pulled back.  
“If he hurts you because of me, I’d never forgive myself. And I wouldn’t deserve forgiveness, anyway.”  
“I’d forgive you.”  
Crowley rolled his eyes  
“That’s not the point, angel. Plus, I’m in danger, too. And, while this isn’t the only time my life has been threatened,” he looked away, embarrassed, “this time, I’m ACTUALLY scared. That man, your father, he’s got enough influence to get rid of all of the proof that shows that I exist.“  
“Yes. He very well could, and I have no doubt that he would.” Aziraphale looked down, contemplating his next move. “I think... what we should do is pretend to play along.”  
“Okay, well, I already have my bags packed-“  
“Crowley, my dear,” Aziraphale looked back up at him and took his hand, “please stay.”  
“How?” Crowley shook his head. “I can’t sleep in the guest room anymore, they’ll know. And my bags-“  
“You can sleep in my room.” There was a faint hopeful expression on Aziraphale’s face. Crowley sighed and gave in. “Your bags can go under the bed.”  
“Where would I go when he gets here?”  
“You’ll hide.”  
“Where?”  
Aziraphale’s eyes wandered around the room until they settled on the closet.  
“What- I- but-“ Crowley stammered, “the closet? Really?”  
“Rather ironic, don’t you think?” Aziraphale face lit up in amusement. “It’s a walk-in, so there’s plenty of room for you as well as everything else.”  
Crowley sighed and threw his head back like the drama queen he was. “Fine, angel, as long as I don’t have to stay in there for another 13 more years, then I guess it’ll have to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all! How are you guys? I know I said I’d have it up sooner, but I’ve been really busy and stressed out over a bunch of stuff that I won’t bore you with. I’m posting this because I want to get it out ASAP, but my beta hasn’t read it yet, so it probably won’t be as good as it could be. I’m really sorry.  
> Everyone, go check out my beta’s fic too!! She’s ShesAKillerQueen98 on here, and has a story that I beta and help her come up with ideas for it.  
> Thank you guys so much for reading!! Leave a kudos if you like it, or, even better, if you want to say something to me, just comment and I’ll try to respond!  
> PS: Hi guys! My beta looked over it and now I have her blessing! All’s well that ends well!


	10. Chapter 10

As the day went by, the plan went into action. Crowley grabbed his bags and threw them in the walk-in closet before joining them, himself. There was a soft knock on the door, and he froze.  
“It’s me!” A voice said loudly on the other side of the door. The door opened and Aziraphale came in carrying a backpack. The zipper looked like it was about to pop off due to how much was stuffed in it.  
“What’s that?” Crowley raised an eyebrow. “You better not be taking me back to school.”  
Aziraphale rolled his eyes and sighed.  
“No, I brought you some things to do when you’re alone. I’ll be leaving the light on so you’ll be able to do whatever you would like. As long as it’s in this room.”  
“Is there anything sexy?” Crowley asked with a smirk. Aziraphale’s cheeks went bright pink.  
“Dear lord, no!”  
“Oh. What a shame.” It took all of Crowley’s self control to stop him from bursting out into laughter when his partners reaction was to blush even deeper, sigh, and throw the bag down onto the ground.  
“Gosh, I need a drink.”  
“Won’t you have to ask your parents first?” As soon as the well-meaning joke was out of his mouth, Crowley realized the mistake he had made as Aziraphale looked at the ground, suddenly all amusement gone from his face. “I’m really sorry, I just-“  
There was a knock on the bedroom door.  
“Solomon? May I come in?” Aziraphale’s mother’s voice shocked Crowley into silence.  
“Just a moment, mother! I’m... I’m changing my clothes!” His partner called before turning back to him and whispering, “I know, my dear, I forgive you.” He kissed Crowley’s forehead before shoving him back into the closet and shutting the closet door.  
As soon as the door shut, Crowley realized how lucky he was that Aziraphale’s closet had a light fixture. The room was eerily quiet, as if someone had covered it with cotton balls. All noise was muted so much that it was impossible to work out what Aziraphale was saying to his mother. After about 5 minutes of pressing his ear against the door, Crowley gave up and stepped back with a huff.  
“At least they won’t hear me in here.” Crowley said out loud to himself before turning around.  
He sighed and laid down on the floor, trying to use his arm as a pillow. After another while, he remembered that Aziraphale had left him a backpack of things for him to do while he was gone. Crowley sat up, grabbed the backpack, and yanked it open. Instantly, he smiled.  
“Oh, you clever angel you.”  
Aziraphale had packed him a sleeping bag along with a tablet and a stylus.  
“I know how much you love sleep, Crowley.” Said Aziraphale’s voice in his head, which made Crowley both happy and confused. It was definitely something his angel would say, he just would have never expected him to be hallucinating something so pleasant. Usually, it was the most violent and awful things.  
“I guess love has its perks.” Crowley shrugged and laid out the sleeping bag along with the small pillow that was shoved in right next to it. He then plopped down into it and curled up. The sleeping bag smelled like safety, security, warmth, and freshly baked goods. It smelled like Aziraphale.  
Within a few moments, Crowley fell into a happy, contented sleep.  
—  
A soft knock on the closet door woke Crowley out of his shallow sleep in a panic. For a moment, he stayed completely silent and still, hoping that it wasn’t Mr. or Mrs. Aziraphale, that it was miraculously someone else.  
“It’s just me, my dear,” Aziraphale’s soft voice was almost inaudible through the door, “May I come in?”  
Crowley let out a sigh of relief.  
“Yeah, sure.” He opened the door and stepped to the side. As soon as he opened the door, he looked out the window only to see that it was now pitch black outside.  
“Such a gentleman!” Aziraphale giggled as he walked in. As he passed his boyfriend, Crowley gave him a small tap on his ass, and he blushed deeply. “I guess you’re not THAT much of a gentleman.”  
“Hey!” Crowley crossed his arms and pretended to look insulted, but he couldn’t hold back a sly grin. As soon as Aziraphale closed the door, he felt arms wrap around his waist as Crowley placed his head on his shoulder, snuggling against his neck.  
“Well, hello there.” Sol said softly, resting his head against Crowley’s and leaning back into the embrace as he closed his eyes.  
“Angel?”  
“Hm?” He hummed sleepily.  
“What would your perfect house look like?”  
“Well...” Aziraphale opened his eyes and cocked his head. “I’d like a small cottage in the countryside.”  
Crowley hummed, then unwrapped his arms from Aziraphale’s waist and moved over to the bed before throwing himself onto it.  
“I would like one room to be a library room filled with books and a nice, comfy sofa in the corner. If that would be okay with you.” Aziraphale said as he gently sat down on the bed.  
“Mhm.” Crowley muttered before turning to face him.  
“Of course, we would have a greenhouse for all of the plants you’ll be growing.” Aziraphale laid down and faced Crowley. He began to soak in every feature of his partners face. “I think it would also be lovely to have pets.”  
“Sounds like a wonderful idea to me.” Crowley muttered before he yawned, obviously getting sleepy despite the fact he had just woken up.  
“A cat would be nice.” Aziraphale yawned as well, trying his best to stay up.  
“I was thinkin’ a dog.”  
“A dog too, then! A dog and a cat.”  
“They’re not allowed in the greenhouse.” Crowley muttered.  
“Nor in the library, but we’ll have enough room for them.” Aziraphale said, matter-of-factly. “The cottage will be cozy, a fire in the fireplace, plenty of hot cocoa, tea, and coffee. It’ll have a few windows, but not too many.”  
“I like windows!”  
“Okay, we’ll have a good amount of windows.”  
“Hm.” Crowley grunted, then shifted so that he laid his head on Aziraphale’s chest. Aziraphale put his arm under Crowley’s head and around his shoulders.  
“And, one more thing...”  
“Anything for you, angel.”  
“I’d like to help raise at least one child.”  
Crowley perched his head up on Aziraphale’s chest, looking up at him sleepily. “Let’s... talk about that later, ‘kay?”  
“Alright.” Aziraphale agreed as he slowly drifted into sleep.  
—  
When Aziraphale woke up, he found that night was just starting to turn into day. His father would be getting up soon.  
“Crowley,” he shook his boyfriend to try and wake him up, “Crowley, please get up, my love. He might find us, and-“  
The door opened, and, to his horror, his father stepped into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!  
> It’s once again late at night and for some reason, me and my beta are still awake despite having class tomorrow.  
> I’m sorry about the slow updates! I dropped one of my classes that I hated, so I might be able to squeeze more writing in in my new free time. I do, however, still have stuff to do now like play guitar, take care of my cat, clean my room, yada yada yada. Being a college student is hard when you have hobbies.  
> Anywhoo, kudos if you liked this, comment if you really liked this!!! I will give you lots of love either way.  
> Go check out my beta’s account, ShesAKillerQueen98!! She’s awesome and I love her, so give her some love!!  
> Love y’all! See ya in a little!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Murder

“I knew this would happen.” Mr. Aziraphale sighed as Crowley slowly began to wake up.  
“Wha... what’s-“  
Abraham grabbed the sheets and yanked them off the bed before grabbing Crowley by the ankle and dragging him onto the ground.  
“Get up.” Abraham said in a threatening voice. Crowley slowly got on to his hands and knees before being kicked in the stomach. “I said get up!”  
“Leave him alone!” Aziraphale screamed as he yanked his father away from Crowley and quickly helped him get up before a pair of hands wrapped around his throat and threw him back on to the bed. Abraham then grabbed Crowley by the hair and dragged him out of the room and into the hall.  
“How dare you taint my son with your filth.” He growled, then yanked Crowley’s head up and took him by the throat. The hand slowly squeezed until Crowley couldn’t breathe. “You disgusting homosexual junkie. You don’t deserve to breathe the same air as us.”  
“Father, stop it!” Aziraphale’s voice came from the side as Crowley choked, gasping for air. He clawed at Abraham’s wrist, which only made him grip tighter.  
“Why? You don’t like seeing another man handle him?”  
“Shut up!”  
Crowley’s ears started ringing and he started losing strength.  
“Az... Zira...” he gasped out.  
Suddenly, the hand was removed from his throat. He coughed and gagged, wheezing as he breathed in the much needed air. When he looked up, he saw Abraham slap Aziraphale so hard that he fell to the ground. When he looked up, however, there was only anger in his face. Not just anger, but hatred as well. He grabbed his father by the shirt and shoved him backwards. Abraham grabbed Crowley again, dragging him over to the top of the stairs.  
“This is the last time I’ll let you touch my boy.” As soon as Crowley was shoved, Aziraphale reached out from behind his father and grabbed his arm, pulling him to safety and throwing Abraham to the side. “How dare you-“  
His sentence was cut short as Crowley watched Aziraphale grab his father and give him one small push.  
That push was all it took.  
Crowley watched almost in slow motion as Abraham Aziraphale toppled down the stairs. When he landed at the bottom, his neck was at an impossible angle and his face was bruised and bloodied from slamming into the stairs.  
“You... you... he’s dead.” Crowley stammered.  
“Finally.” Aziraphale stared at the body. “It’s finally over.”  
“Aziraphale, you-“  
“OH MY GOD!” They heard Mrs. Aziraphale scream from the kitchen. She ran over to her dead husband, then looked up to see her son standing on the top of the stairs. “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”  
“He did this to himself, mother.” Aziraphale said slowly, eyes still fixated on the body. His mother looked at him, terrified.  
“Aziraphale, we need to go.” Crowley grabbed onto Aziraphale’s arm and tried to drag him down the stairs, but he held fast.  
“I’ll make this go away.” He said as if it was the easiest thing in the world. “It’ll be as if he accidentally fell. I’ve seen his will. Half of his money and stocks goes to me.”  
“So?!”  
“My fathers money has been used to hush up murders before. It will now be used to hush up his own.”  
Crowley dropped Aziraphale’s hand.  
“This is dangerous-“  
“Crowley, please.” Aziraphale was completely calm. “Let me do this.”  
Crowley let go of his hand.  
“Aziraphale, you’re starting to scare me.” Aziraphale blinked, then looked at Crowley.  
“I’m just strategizing, my dear boy.” He said with a strange smile.  
The rest of the day was filled with phone calls and false explanations. A few people from the morgue came to pick up the body, and a few police officers came by. Aziraphale and Crowley had come up with a story that he had fallen down the stairs, and his mother was too afraid of her son to ignore or sabotage him, so she gave the same story from her perspective, glancing and Aziraphale every few minutes.  
After the police left, Aziraphale looked at Crowley and smiled, taking his hand.  
“Aziraphale, you just killed your father,” Crowley said carefully, “and lied to the police. Why are you so calm?”  
“He deserved it.” Aziraphale said simply. “He tried to kill you. I couldn’t let him take the only good thing I have in my life away.”  
“You just KILLED a man!”  
“My father wasn’t a man!” Aziraphale let go of Crowley’s hand and scowled. “He was a monster.”  
“He was still your father.” Crowley was starting to really fear his partner. “Aziraphale, you’re starting to scare me.”  
Aziraphale blinked in confusion, then looked down at his hands as if he finally realized the weight of the situation. Suddenly, emotion started creeping back into his face. At first there was shock, then anger, then fear, then understanding.  
“I... I’m sorry, my love. I’m just...” Aziraphale put his head in his hands. “He was such a terrible person. He ruined so many lives. He killed people, he hurt people, and he got away with it. I didn’t realize that I sounded just like him. I just wanted you... wanted us to be safe.”  
“Thank you, angel.” Crowley said, cracking a small smile. There was still an edge of fear that separated them, Aziraphale HAD just killed a man, but eventually, that fear would pass. After all, it was practically self defense.  
“Please don’t be scared of me, my love.” Aziraphale looked at Crowley, his eyes begging for forgiveness.  
“I’m sorry, angel. Just... give me time.” Crowley kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I’m sorry the chapter is so short, but it was rather action-packed, wasn’t it?  
> I only had one class today, and it was rather easy. My homework was also rather easy, so I was just able to get more done. Also, I’m very anxious today, so that helps me work faster, too. I’m so anxious that I might get up and start to play guitar to calm myself down even though it’s 9:30 PM.  
> My foot is STILL injured, but it’s ALMOST healed so yay!!  
> Anyway, there’s my update of my life.  
> Thank you to my WONDERFUL beta ShesAKillerQueen98 for the help and support! Please go support her work as well!  
> Please kudos or comment if you liked this!  
> Love you all!!


	12. Sequel FINALLY

Hello again! I know I said this before, but this is going to be a little more accurate. The next part in this series is going to be coming out pretty soon! So stick around if you want to read more in this universe!


End file.
